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The Buzz of masturbation | Anonymous

I can’t put my finger on when I first discovered masturbation. All I remember is that at the time, I felt far too young to have discovered the wonder of my own body. It felt invigorating, particularly due to the fact that I’d found a secret way of making myself feel good. I don’t think I truly knew what it was at the time, but once I did, I felt that I had to keep it to myself.

At school, boys openly talked about wanking - it was considered the norm. However, if it was even whispered about girls partaking in the activity, it was instantly disgusting. Something that we shouldn’t talk about. As I got older and more comfortable in myself, that changed. But even then, I wasn’t ready to talk about it.

I watched porn and read cosmopolitan articles on the best ways to make yourself cum. When I got my own place, I ordered sex toys - always ensuring that they were marketed as ‘quiet’ or ‘discreet’. That’s what I thought masturbation had to be - quiet, discreet. It’s a common patriarchal idea to fall into - the idea that women shouldn’t focus on their own pleasure. And to be perfectly honest, I’m fucking over it.

Why can’t we shout from the rooftops about making ourselves orgasm? Why should we openly talk about sex but shy away from any mention of masturbation? Why do we worry about the packaging being obvious when we order from our favourite sites? There are so many barriers that are quite simply, a buzz kill.

I’m lucky to be part of a friendship group where we tell each other everything. And yes, that means everything. Sex, periods, trauma, sexuality - nothing is off-limits and that’s how it should be. We should feel empowered by our own sense of sensuality and break down the barriers preventing us from getting that all-important buzz.

It doesn’t matter if you do it once a week or three times a day - what matters is that you’re quite frankly ‘taking matters into your own hands.’ And hey! If you don’t masturbate, that’s fine too. You shouldn’t feel pressured by anyone or anything to do something you feel is unnecessary or uncomfortable. That’s just as important as the rest of it.

But if you’re someone who wants to masturbate and not feel ashamed of it - do it! Fuck anyone who tells you it’s not okay to feel empowered by your own body and what you can make it do. Experiment and find what works for you. Some people enjoy penetration while they masturbate, some are happy with clitoral stimulation using a vibrator or sucker. Some people use buttplugs and anal beads, some people are happy to just use their hands. It doesn’t matter how you do it, all that matters is that if you feel comfortable, you can make yourself feel good and bask in that all-encompassing buzz of masturbation.


The writer of this piece would have liked to share their name, but due to the nature of their job, they have decided to remain anonymous

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