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To new friends | Anonymous

I’ve always been a happy person all my life- even through tough times I’ve tried to keep a smile on my face. This time last year I was my usual happy self but associated myself with a toxic friend. At the time I thought it was normal to be annoyed at your friends sometimes- we all do things to piss each other off in a friendship.

Everything was a competition, almost a race to see who could do better in life. In May I decided I wanted to get my head back in the game and try to lose some weight. At the time my friend was also trying to lose weight, constantly competing with me. Question after question about what I’d eaten that day, what exercises I’d done and how many steps I’d done that day. I ended up having an unhealthy mindset and fell away from my new lifestyle. I went back to old habits and got made to feel like I was a failure. She made me feel so upset about not continuing with this lifestyle.

Last summer I ended our friendship. I’ve never suffered from mental health problems but I could feel our friendship taking a toll on it. That was something I wasn’t going to let happen as I’ve had friends and family who have suffered from their mental health and I didn’t want to end up going through life struggling.

After ending our friendship, I went back to being happy. 100% genuinely happy and back to smiling every day. I felt a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders and almost felt free. True friends shouldn’t make you cry, shouldn’t belittle you, shouldn’t compete with you. What I’m trying to say is.. letting go of toxic friends should be normalised. Don’t stay in a friendship for ‘easiness’. We shared mutual friends and I was terrified I’d lose those friendships. I have lost 1 but I now realise it wasn’t a ‘real’ friendship. It was a friendship based on drink and partying.

10 months on, I have never been happier. I’ve literally done a 180 on my life (my friend's words). I no longer associate myself with anyone or anything that makes me unhappy. I’ve also deleted all my dating apps as daft as that sounds. It’s 2021, I’m over needing male attention just to feel ‘good’ about myself. I'm over needing loads of friends who aren’t even friends. I keep my circle small and I surround myself with supportive friends and family.

I now know the true meaning of friendship. It isn’t going out getting drunk every weekend, it isn’t feeling embarrassed to tell them when you’re feeling down, it isn’t telling them personal stories and feeling shy or ashamed about them. Friendship to me is going through life with them by your side. It’s about being laid out bare without feeling vulnerable. It’s loving each other when you maybe don’t love yourself. It’s pushing each other to set goals and work towards them, together.

Right now my best friend and I are taking on new goals and trying to better ourselves. We support each other the way friends should. No competition, no fakeness, no keeping secrets. I can be completely honest with her and vice versa and there is no airs or graces. She has shown me the true meaning of friendship and I want to hold on to that forever.

I’m back on my new lifestyle journey. I’m back to exercising and eating better. I look in the mirror now and can see the changes in my body, something I have never seen before after trying all different diets over the years. I see me for me. Life isn’t a competition. Everyone goes at their own pace. Losing weight isn’t the be-all and end-all. Being happy is the main goal in life.

I understand my story isn’t very exciting but I hope I help even 1 person that’s maybe in a toxic friendship or relationship. WALK AWAY! Please stop associating yourself with dickheads. It's not worth it! Drop the toxic and watch yourself glow again. I promise, it’s worth it x


This was sent to us as an anonymous submission.

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